Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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