I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
