I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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