What a fucking waste of an outfit
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
