Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
