I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
