dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
