she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize