go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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