you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
