i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize