I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
