You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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