what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
