I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
