Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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