I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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