butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize