I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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