That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Someone shattered a urinal.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
