I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
