i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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