And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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