Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i will never coherently bang her
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
