He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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