i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs