Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
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I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
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Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her