Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA