We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
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i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos