i permit you to call me
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have tasted many bathrooms