she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
only you would photoshop your dick
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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