clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
