And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
