I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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