After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
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