i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
