You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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