Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
