Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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