What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
