We got so high we made milksteak
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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