I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
