The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
