So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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