Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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