I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
