Im at strip club and am horny
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
