If i come over, it means nothing
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
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you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
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She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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