You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
