Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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