I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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