she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
