If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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