just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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