North Korea, Best Korea!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Never joke about your clitoris.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
