i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize