i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
